How to Talk to Your Relatives About Estate Planning

Many families find that talking about death and finances can be an uncomfortable thing. After all, having those discussions makes the finality of life seem more real. But the truth is talking about estate planning with your family members is one of the most loving conversations you can have. Not only will it help to save them a lot of grief and confusion at the time of your passing, but it might just help to preserve relationships within the family. We all know someone who has had a bitter falling out with their family after fighting over estate issues!

When you are ready to talk to your family members about your final wishes, here are a few of the topics that you should cover:

  • Estate distribution

Your estate is made up of all of your assets including bank accounts, your home, business assets, life insurance policies, vehicles, jewelry, family heirlooms, etc. as well as your debts. It is entirely up to you how you distribute your assets but be mindful that this can sometimes cause family strife. Many people choose to distribute assets equally amongst all their children – while others (for reasons of their own) choose to give more to certain family members.

If you have a business for example, perhaps not all children are interested or capable of running it, so you choose to leave it to one child. If this is the case, you may want to consider equalizing your estate by leaving other investments or perhaps a life insurance policy to the other children.

Talk to your family about your decisions. You don’t necessarily have to get into specifics on the value of certain assets, but if they understand why you are making certain decisions it is less likely to cause problems down the road.

  • Your executor

Your executor is the person who takes care of your estate after you die and makes sure that your assets are distributed according to your wishes as spelled out in your will. They are also in charge of making sure any final debts or taxes are paid out of your estate and may have other duties as well such as selling the family home if that is what you want.

Before you name a family member or friend and your executor, make sure you talk with them first and are willing to take on this responsibility.

  • Power of attorney

Someone who holds power of attorney looks after a person’s personal care (including health care decisions and end of life care) and/or finances in the event that the person becomes mentally incapable of making such decisions for themselves. You can appoint the same person to have power of attorney for both personal care and finances or you can appoint two different people.

Most people appoint their spouse to have power of attorney but you may appoint whomever you like including adult children, other family members, or a friend. As with the executor however, just remember that this is a big responsibility and you should have a conversation with this person before appointing them.

Remember that these decisions are ultimately up to you.

Your final wishes are just that. They are YOUR final wishes and you may choose to distribute your estate the way you see fit and to choose who you like to be executor and have power of attorney. It is important however to have these discussions with your family and let them know your wishes.

If your family isn’t quite ready for that discussion however – or if they don’t agree with your decisions – you still have a right to draft your will the way you choose.

At Mikhailitchenko Law Office, we have experience in drafting wills and powers of attorney documents and we can provide expert advice on your estate planning matters. To set up an appointment, contact us today.